On 25 June 2000, Sheik Yamani, a former Saudi oil minister from 1962 to 1982, said at an interview with the newspaper "The Telegraph" that he predicted with a few decades, vast reserves of oil would be unwanted and the
"oil age" would come to an end.
"To compensate people for their physical weakness, the Creator provided us with an intellect
far superior to the rest of creation. With this intellect came the greatest instruction: To take care of all life."
James W. Ransom, "Water in Life" Assembly of First Nations, 1995.
"God should not be judged on the basis of the world - it is just one of his rough sketches."
Vincent van Gogh
"One person can make a difference, and every one should try." John F. Kennedy
"There are those look at things the way they are, and ask why? I dream of things that never were, and ask, why not?." Robert Kennedy
"All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honour, duty; mercy, hope."
"There is no such thing a little country. The greatness of a people is no
more determined by their number than the greatness of a man is determined by his height."
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Winston Churchill
"Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
"In life beauty perishes, but not in art." Leonardo Da Vinci
"It is the plain women who know about love; the beautiful women are too busy being fascinating."
"Mona Lisa is the only beauty who went through history and retained her reputation." Will Rogers
"Better slip with foot than with tongue." Benjamin Franklin
"Most people would rather die than think; many do." Bertrand Russell
"Always forgive your enemies nothing annoys them so much." Oscar Wilde
"An intellectual is someone who takes more words than necessary to tell more
than he knows." Adlai Stevenson
"A man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds." Mark Twain
"Patience is the art of hoping." Vauvenargues
"All pleasantries ought to be shortand for that matter, gravities too." Voltaire
"I must recommend to you what I endeavour to pratice for myself, patience and perseverance." George Washington
On Saint Patrick's Day, a young comedian dressed in green spoke before a crowd.
His jokes were not too amusing. And a voice rose from the back.
"Hey! You don't just look green. Even your jokes are green!"
At a Book Club,
"Is Joe Doe an active member of the club?"
"Goodness! No. He only sits there and reads."
Professor: A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer.
Student: No wonder why we did so poorly at your exam last week.
Writer: Reading a book can be as stimulating as the real experience.
Wife: No wonder you are more interested in your books than me.
God of Target4
A general on a campaign was about to be defeated. In the battle, an army from the heaven suddenly joined his ranks and
turned defeat into victory. The general thereupon kowtowed to the leader of the army of heaven and asked of his name.
"I am the God of the Target."
"What have I done, my Honourable God of the Target, to deserve your help?'
"Because at the drilling field, your arrows never once hit me and I have always felt grateful to you."
Compiled by Xu Zi Chang, Xiao Lin (The Wood of Jests), Ming Dynasty.
A Scholar's Judgement4
One day a countryman spoke of his
aspiration, "I'll be satisfied with one hundred mu1 of paddy field."
Jealous of his aspiration, his neighbour said, "If you had one hundred mu of
paddy field, I would raise ten thousand ducks to eat all your paddy."
This touched off a heated argument and both sides refused to give in.
Finally, they decided to settle the dispute in yamen (court).2 Not
knowing where the address of the yamen, they needed to find their way to get
there. Upon passing by a Confucian college,3 they were impressed by
its red walls and tall doors. Thinking it was the yamen, they thus went inside
grappling with each other.
Inside they saw a scholar pacing in the lecture hall. Mistaking him for the
magistrate, they poured out before him their grievances, one against the other.
After hearing them out, the scholar said, "You go buy your paddy fields and
he goes raise his ducks. Then come back when I become a magistrate, so I may sit
in judgment of your case."
- Compiled by Shi Chengjin, Xiao De Hao (Very Funny), Ching Dynasty.
1 One mu is about 0.067 hectares; 2 yamen - government office and court in feudal China; 3 Confucian college - run privately by individual scholar; the only institution to provide
common people education; 4 Text and original translation in 100 Chinese Jokes Through The Ages, 1991.